I’m back from my trip to the red rock cliffs and dry valleys of southern Utah. As I predicted, I didn’t do any writing. But guess who else didn’t? Cornell University!
Yes, Cornell University, the most prestigious school with the most important graduates and the most disgusting rape scandal, is keeping it real. Quiet. One of their female students was kidnapped and gang-raped by the Chi Phi “Future Male Rulers of America” fraternity, and yet Cornell University’s home page remains a placid pool of faculty achievements and alumni goings-on. Cornell University is following the classic strategy of saying nothing and wishing this wasn’t happening to them.
Last week, Cornell University President Michael Kotlikoff posted a video on the school’s About page in which he promised to work tirelessly to keep his job. I may be misremembering what he said. I can’t check this because Cornell University has removed the video posted by Cornell University President Michael Kotlikoff. I guess an old and privileged white male trying to reassure everyone that everything is fine, we got this, was not reassuring.
Is Cornell University doing something? They’ve had two years to do something. The governor of New York, Cornell University’s HOME FUCKING STATE, has declared war on Cornell University. How will Cornell University respond? Pack the school into a Ford Econoline van and move to the Arizona desert?
A modest proposal for the quagmire that is Cornell University
I found this book at our recent library sale:
Lifetime Encyclopedia of Letters was published in 1991. Check out that informative subhead: 850 model letters for any occasion! Thank yous. Job applications. Dear Grandma and Grandpa. Dear John.
Lifetime Encyclopedia of Letters also tells you how to write an apology letter.
Perhaps, Cornell University, while rebuilding your school into a safe place for students of all genders, you should write an apology letter to the young woman whose life has been changed for the worse because she made the mistake of trusting you. It won’t reverse what happened, but it would be something. Then write an apology to her parents.
OK, you have probably already done that. Proceed then to the next step: Write an apology to every one of the female students currently in your care. Remember them? Your students? Then write to their parents. The ones who send you money to pay for such things as safety.
And now on to all of your female alums. Apologize to them. And to their parents. And while you’re at it, please write an apology to every young woman in the United States and the rest of the world in case they are considering attending your school.
Maybe after you write all of those apologies, and turn your campus into a nexus of learning rather than a crash course in survival, we could collectively hold our nose and readmit you to academia.
