In my last, very exciting post, I offered 10 simple things you can do to etc. Here are 10 more.
11. Submit what you write.
If you are only writing for yourself or your friends or your turtle, you can bail right here.
After I wrote, read, rewrote, read, and proofed my latest story, “Return of the Chess-Playing Dog,” and after I typed THE END, how did I know where to send it?
The internet is Chock-ful o’Nuts. Also full of places that offer guidance on markets. Here are two sources I trust:
“Keep the manuscripts in motion,” Harlan Ellison advised us. Rejections are potholes, not roadblocks. Every magazine that rejects you, unless they leave a horse’s head in your bed, is open for your next submission. And if the editors in their rejection invite you to send them another story, then SEND IT!
12. “Waiting is every author’s second job.”
I’m quoting an editor, Pat Walsh, in his book 78 Reasons Why Your Book May Never Be Published. “After talent and dedication, patience is an author’s greatest tool,” he continued. His advice is to use the time you’re waiting to work on whatever comes next.
I know that if I submit 100 stories to 100 magazines on January 1, 100 editors will hate me for carpet-bombing them. No, they won’t hate me; editors want to find a memorable story or a poem that thwacks you between the eyes. But editors are also swamped. Most editors will get back to you within 3 months (source: Chill Subs). But nowhere near all.
All you can do is be patient, write something new, and keep the manuscripts in motion.
13. Make the editor’s job easier.
This is important. I’m going to write this up in a separate post and link back.
14. Don’t read anything about agents until you have a book to send to an agent.
Time, time, time
See what’s become of me
While I looked around for my possibilities
I was so hard to please
Well said, Paul. My people: Don’t squander your precious hours! If you are working on a book, as I have since I received my first rejection from Leif Erickson when he was the editor-in-chief at Viking Funerals, you can get so excited by the future and all the success that’s about to fall on you like whipped cream and fresh strawberries that you stop writing. Instead, you start reading profiles of agents. Interviews with editors. Analyses of what publishers want. And, my favorite, looking for photos of publishers writing checks.
Stop that right now. Any information you run across about agents and everyone else who works in publishing should go straight into a shoe box or a file folder or your sock drawer. Don’t spend a second on this until you have a finished book to submit to an actual agent. It takes guts to write a book. Don’t waste what you’ve got. Absolutely totally for sure for sure, good buddy, finish your book first.
15. Take a day off.
Ride a roller coaster. That is not a metaphor. Ride a fucking roller coaster. Go to work and concentrate on work. Do you have a kid? Spend some time with it. Multiple kids? Hand out nametags. “You probably have time to be a halfway decent parent and one other thing,” according to David Mitchell, author of Cloud Atlas. “Neglect everything else.”
Do anything but write, just for one day.
At the end of every Friday, the chief of sales at a long-ago job I had told his discouraged salesmen, “Go home. Refill. Come back strong.” Same to you.
16. You don’t need a social-media platform.
Anyone who tells you different is trying to sell you something.
The only way to gain an army of online followers is to start with an army. Are you a highly-placed bureaucrat with a secret Only Fans site? A Cabinet minister with a bedroom on your luxury plane? A disgraced politician who shoots her pets? If not, your chances of budging the social-media needle off zero are zero.
Look at all the time I just saved you.
17. There are no shortcuts. You have to do the work.
Anyone who tells you different is trying to sell you something.
An email from someone with a weird name claiming to control thousands of book clubs, all of them clamoring to read your latest book, is running a scam.
An email from someone with a weird name who promises to turn your book, Sunday the Chess-Playing Dog Slept Late, into a major motion picture, is running a scam.
An email from someone with a weird name who wants to produce a promotional video for your book, or who promises to represent you to organizations you’ve never heard of, or who claims he or she can jump you to the head of the line, and all for a fee, is running a scam.
“There isn’t any secret,” Elmore Leonard said. “You sit down and you start and that’s it.”
18. Avoid Artificial Intelligence, Super Intelligence, or Politically Stupid Intelligence.
Editors are swamped by stories, poetry, essays, memoirs, and cartoons excreted by AI. Editors hate that shit. They are really good at detecting it.
The editors at New England Review have placed this notice on their submissions page:
We expect our contributors to engage honestly with their own creative minds and not to outsource their writing, translating, and thinking to generative AI. Spell-check and grammar-check are permitted, but writers and translators must affirm that the work submitted is their own and not the product of artificial intelligence tools, software, or generators.
The editors at Barrelhouse are not so nice:
Anyone who uses AI to write something they submit to us is a loser, and we want nothing to do with them.
Ron Carlson said that the job of the fiction writer is to get to the next sentence. If your own brain can’t handle that task, find something else for your brain to do.
19. Keep good records.
Do you have a memory? Take it from me: Memory degrades. You will soon forget where you submitted a story, when you submitted it, and who the editors were. You’ll forget when you wrote it. Some editors receive so many submissions (there are few of them, and many of us) that they ask you to wait a year between submissions. You must know this stuff. Write everything down. You’ll need it for your taxes and for your peace of mind.
20. Celebrate your wins.
Lilliam Rivera advises us to keep our expectations high (shoot for the stratosphere) and our attachments low (if and when we fall back to earth, we go to the next thing). Keep trying.
Publishing is wonderful. Celebrate your outcomes. But celebrate your efforts, too.
I always submit stories with high spirits. I always assume my work will find a home, even when dozens of editors have already said Oh no it won’t. If nobody wants “Are You There, God? It’s Me, the Chess-Playing Dog,” at least I wrote it. I got it out of my head and now it’s a story.
Who knows what might happen next?







